So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Operation Purity has been aborted
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
