I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
