just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
