I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize