Do you still have your period?
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
