I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
