just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
