i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Randomize
