she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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