there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
