Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
