It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
