I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
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