we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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