Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
