But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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