We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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