I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
You took a bar mat shot.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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