God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
