my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
