Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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