We won't sleep together?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
