Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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