if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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