I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
i believe in u and ur pee
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