He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
