Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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