Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
