so explain again why im purple
no
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
