I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Randomize
