The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
you made out with another girl for some wings
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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