whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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