Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
