Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
