I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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