I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
