I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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