google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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