Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Randomize
