pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
