The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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