I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize