Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
