Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Randomize
