I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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