just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize