Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
