I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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