So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
