i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
