Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Randomize
