just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
