I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
