p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
