Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
