My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
