I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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